subsitute (song. i needed somewhere to put it and microsoft sucks butt.

i'm gone, i'm alone, (5)
and you won't even pick up the phone, (9)
bet you're gone, (gone) (4)
you're with her, (her) (4)
a substitute for me, the real thing. (9)

(chorus:)
substitute me for another girl, (9)
is she like me, is she out of this world? (10)
substitute me for another friend, (9)
are you tellin' me that this is the end? (10)

you helped me up from my self-caused misery,(10)
made me shine for all the world to see,(10)
you'd lift me up whenever i was down, (10)
but now you've knocked me out for the count.(9)

(chorus)

but lately i have started to see, (see) (9)
me for me, (me) (3)
and not what you want me to be (be) (8)
and once i was so small inside, (8)
but now life is different, (6)
now it's me that's you're missin', (7)
but there's no subsitute. (6)

(chorus)

you used to be my light, (only mine) (6)
you were my reason to fight, (my reason) (7)
but now for you the tables have turned, (9)
and this, baby, it's what you earned. (8)
a cold dose of reality; (8)
substitutes will never come for free. (9)

(chorus)

parenthesis contain beat counts. notnotnot syllable counts. sorry, folks.
(it's actually a little different. not a typo.)
this is a rough draft mind you.
so i know it sucks. |:
you need not tell me that.
zo-zo and matia, if you read this, e-mail me.
i needs your feedback.
other people will help.

may the F.U.N.K. be with you.
(as much as you deserve, that is.)
blitzoftheF.U.N.K.

p.s.: it sucks! i know! ):< so don't remind me.

i hate people.
more than you can think, really.
here is a chain letter i received from a girl. i'll give you my F.U.N.K.-fueled feedback.
(it's not nice. i'm not nice. learn it, okay?)
(note, parenthesis are my comments.)
(&& i deleted the unneccessary (and nessecary (wtf, spelling plz?)) capitalizations.)

"think about this for a minute...
if i happened to show up on your door step crying,
would you care?
((like you'd come to me. you have such other nicer, more backstabbing, lying friends. why ever would you come to me?))

if i called you and asked you to pick me up because something happened,
would you come?
((like you would call me. i 'wouldn't understand'. (by these comments, one would probably find that true. but i care, really. but nobody else cares that i care that they don't care that i care. i care.)))

if i had one day left, to live my life; would you be part of that last day?
((like you would let me. -smirk- you'd push me into a wall, or you would slap me or call me a slut and say that i wasn't worth being a friend with. (hey. i state the truth; i'm not here to be nice.)))

if i needed a shoulder to cry on, would you give me yours?
((well, look where it got me last time. slutty reputation and little to no female company (not that i need that...)))

this is a test to see who your real friends are
or
if you are just someone to talk to you when they are bored .
((remember this. i used to be your friend and i gave you chances. obviously too many. who's fault is /that/?))

send this to everybody on your list including the person who sent it to you.
((no. contrary to what you write about in your story, i won't listen to you. i will not wear a miniskirt and pumps and i will not back down to you. most of all, /you/. -points-))

i just did.....because you are my friend.
((am i?))

do you know what the relationship is between your two eyes?
((eyes don't feel, pompous ass.))

they blink together, they move together, they cry together, they see things together and they sleep together...
((i have a hunk of bone in between them. if they were having eyesex or something, i'd know.))

but they never see each other.. that's what friendship is.
((mirrors, duh. and i see my 'friends'. too much, if you ask me.))

your aspiration is your motivation, your motivation is your belief, your belief is your peace, your peace is your target, your target is heaven, and life is like hell without it
((my aspiration is to get the hell out of here. my motivation is how you all treat me like shit and get away with it. my belief is that you treat me like shit and get away with it. that belief is not peace because if it was peace i would be far away from most of you. i don't believe in heaven; i don't believe in hell.))

it's 'world best friends week'.
((for fuck's sake, why? my birthday isn't supposed to suck this bad!! ): what a lousy . . . ironic holiday.))

who is your best friend?
((if you think you're one of them, you don't know how far off you are...))

send this to all your good friends.
((fuck why?))

even me, if i am one of them.
((you wish, petite amie!*))

See how many you get back.
((i'd rather choke to death on pastrami, sorry.))
((&& they're probably go straight to my junk.))

If you get more than 3 then you really are a lovable person...
((all i know is that i get too many, and most are insincere. bitches. (i hate that word. ): )))

save the earth... it's the only planet with
chocolate!!!! true, true indeed!
((that's not funny. trying to impersonate i-carly is not funny. it does not make you a funny person.**))

lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth ...amen
((if anyone, holy or not, puts their hand over their mouth and stops me from speaking my mind, they will be personally castrated, or if female, i shall conduct a gender switch, then castrate them. even if castration is illegal or i find it icky, i shall just force feed you live jellyfish and make sure all you can drink for the rest of your life, how short or long it may be after this, is melted plastic. (or i will hire some gross dude to castrate you.) please fuck yourself and die, thank you.))

now i am tired of writing, but one last thing. actually, two.
one! if you actually like me and respect me, treat me better.
i want all of you to hear that.

two! this is a solemn occasion, because george carlin, great comedian, died last night of a heart attack.
he was seventy-one, i believe, and he is much missed already.
and now, if you don't mind, a small explanation.
because when i was eleven, i heard carlin for the first time, in my dad's car.
i liked his humour because he not only made me laugh, but he pointed out some true as hell things that nobody else is brave enough to say.
seven words will never be the same.

thank you and good night.
(and i did not post for a week as i was grounded.)
i may not post tomorrow because it is my birthday and i'm getting my teeth worked on. ):
and i'm going video game shopping with the 'rents. well, my dad, but w/e.
frusteratedandproudofit,blitzoftheF.U.N.K.

p.s.: you all know i hate insulting you, but you also all know that this pisses me off, and you brought it on yourself.

* girlfriend. it's french, and italian also, i believe.

** haven't we gone over this before?

pointless summer thoughts&& birthdays. sort of. oh! and hair. omghair. -foams at mouth-

so i’ve been thinking about (partially) shaving my head.
i really want a chelsea-hawk.
except, it’d be modified.
i would have some hair left near my face, including my bangs (i am keeping these pretties. <33)
and a few pieces near my face, to cover a lil’ of it.
but they say having little hair is liberating.
(but the klyne would kill me. (i know i spelled her name wrong. but it’s fun.))
maybe i’ll just keep my hair cropped short and shove some faux dreadlocks over my head.
but then again, i could do that with a chelsea hawk.
ohmagawd.
i should totally shave half of my head, and dye the other half, like, bright green.
or pink. <33 or—
oh my god.
i should shove some glitter on my head and buy some fake wings.
and i really want a gas mask.
and some more obnoxious day-clothes.
i could totally get some of this stuff from my dentist.
like those little mouth-masks. <3
this could be pretty fun.

oh, and i really want jiggly antennae.
i should totally go to part city and buy some crap there.
take me for my birthday, lovelies.
. . .
please.

oh, and d.j. sisen; coolest ever.
that’s actually where i got a few of my ideas. that and kazakai.
‘the kaz beast’.
she/he says that she/he does not look like sisen, but. . .seriously.
look both of them up.
and buy me shtt.

well, actually, i am kidding.
you do not have to get me anything. (it would be nice thankyouplz)
‘cos i’m not making a huge deal about my birthday.
except to my parents.
i kind of made a huge wishlist.
(that i would really enjoy adding more shtt to, thankyouplz!)

you may be wondering about the thankyouplz.
this is from ‘chobits’.
m., my friend, you are familiar with this.
-points around the room- ‘hideki!’
ex dee. i can’t believe i remember, that, but thankyouplz.
it’s short, sweet, and to the point. <33
plus chobits is awesome.
-salute- i commend you, chobits.

so what was i talking about?
ohyeah. my strangeusual fashion sense.
i need bright jelly bracelets; i think my dad threw mine out.
and the ones at hot topic are really expensive.
i love hot topic, really. but dude? their shtt is expensive.
(drake bell has really nice hair. it’s this shiny red colour. in the right light, that is.)

---

i really hope you know that this is only this long because i’m sneaking on the internet.
reading about neon dreadlocks and poseurs and eating disorders and d.j.’s (??? dunno how to do a plural of that in lower case. ): )
i really want to be a d.j.
it’d be cool. i wonder what kind of ‘ed-you-kay-shun’ it takes.
no, really. i wonder how much money they’re paid.
-thinks-

---

i wonder if they sell those jellyfish hats anywhere.
you know, the strange purple hats on spongebob?
i really should take up sewing.
it’d be nice to make some of these things. <333
i wonder if one could make use of things commonly used in correctional dentistry.
-ponders this-

you know it’s illegal to melt american currency?
you see, i once had dreams of a necklace made of pennies.
obviously not happening. ):

---

this is probably not a very interesting post. . . ;.;
actually, it is definitely not interesting.
(still think that i am funny?)
(i thought not)
so if you actually got to the end of this,
congrats!!! :)
you deserve a large frosted treat of your liking.
(but you probably, in fact, will not get one.)
so, i suppose...
kthxbai!<33
no, really.
worriedly—blitzoftheF.U.N.K.


Figures,
U’ll
Never
Know

iq

i think the general i.q. of the american population is lowering.
greatly.
you know why?
it's pretty much a new-fucking-trend to make fun of something smart.
(you know, in some societies, 14-yr-olds are supposed to know what 'rue' means. -cough mirandacosgrove cough-)
also, sometimes when someone says 'who doesn't like circular meat'? it's not greeted with laughter, just
'i know? i like meatballs. <33'
or laughter if they think the idea of circular meat is nasty.

other person: '-laughs- whoever came up with the /idea/ of circular meat should be killed.'
circular meat fan: '-laughs-'
other person: 'no, really. -pulls out knife-'

no, really. now, whenever i talk (me, being intelligent), people laugh.
not funny, man. not funny at all.
you know i'm not a naturally funny person?
no, really. i'm not. you just make me sound funny.
i talk normally in front of my parents, they do not care.

and it's kind of funny, because i have a friend over, and they talk like these i-carly t.v. stars, and my parents don't laugh.
i also, after which, get the comment 'your parents have no sense of humour.'
or a more intelligent way of saying so, which is supposed to make me laugh.
. . . it doesn't.

right now, i'm listening to i-carly, actually.
you know how many times the t.v. audience laughed at nothing in particular...
one...two...three...four...five
...
six...seven...eight...nine...ten
you know they make the kids in detention look all alt. and 'emo' or whatever?
it's stupid. or. . . uh. . . 'gangster.'
that, too. (eleven.)
twelve. thirteen. (i fell on a shrub. hih-larous.)
fourteen.
it's really not intelligent. at all.
fifteen. ugh. sixteen. seventeen.
i hate you all, realy.
eighteen. nineteen. twenty. twenty-one.
this is depressing. i'm stopping.

maybe i'm just stupid and i have a stupid opinion on t.v.
but maybe, just maybe, nobody else really likes high-schoolers pretending to be smart-kids pretending to be popular pretending to be scene pretending to be real.
nah, i doubt it.
woefully--blitzoftheF.U.N.K.

Figures,
U'll
Never
Know

p.s.:'and do they contain quality meat?'
p.p.s.: did you laugh?
p.p.p.s.: did you?
p.p.p.p.s.: you would laugh if a pretty t.v. star said it.
p.p.p.p.p.s.: what's so funny about the word 'gutter child'?
p.p.p.p.p.p.s.: my dad calls me that all the time.
p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s.: and adding two more hours to detention?
p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s.: it isn't funny.
p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s.: and you know it.
p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s.: you laugh because they're beautiful, and you think that telling their jokes and talking like them and dressing like them will make you fab; it won't.
p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s.: i bet you live in your mother's basement.
p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s.: you are all pathetic excuses for humans and i hate you all. ):
p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s.: blogs don't get that popular. i know. trust me. ))):
p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s.: it's kind of the same thing as copying the 'popular' people at school.
p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s.: or the 'unpopular' people.
p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s.: or anyone.
p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.p.s: i'm tired of writing 'p.s.'s. i'm stopping.

x.: don't laugh. just don't. don't laugh!

glitz. <33

i’d love to say that i have an elaborate, dramatic excuse for not posting in a while. but i don’t. so sad, as i am, obviously, a master of the dramatic, the glittery, and the slightly macabre fashions. <33

but i’ve actually been being an idiot on myyearbook. i’m rei chelle (www.myyearbook/fueledby-funk).
feel free to add me as a friend. i loves the virtual strangers. <33
i also have met some strange people. including:
a george bush-hating pot-head
a chick who asked me if i was a girl or not
some people with awesome hair.

shoutouts to all of you; oh, and 100 people (or more) luvv me.
<33 i rawk. virtually, of course. which is quite sad.

nothing much has happened recently.
my birthday’s in . . . 11 days. i’d like to say i’m excited, but i’m not.
‘cos really, the older you get, the more life sucks.
but then you get old and feeble enough, so you die.
which is ultimately the best part. <3333

oldandboldandcoveredinmold...—blitzoftheF.U.N.K.

Figures,
U’ll
Never
Know

p.s.: i’ll post later. maybe. i hope. i really think that i like blogging more than myyearbook. someone force me to get off of that website, please.

gobbler hosting

sucks. my counter (@ three hundred!) reset to zero! fucking 0!!!!
not nice.
not not not not not not not nice!!
-angry-
don't go to gobbler hosting.
i need a patronizing nickname for the following
gobbler nickname
google

feel free to post any.
i have the following set up:
avril latrine
miley citrus
. . .
well, no more.
but those are good. they work.
for a while.
help me my minions/friends! ):

woefully--
blitzoftheF.U.N.K.

Figures,
U'll
Never
Know

re-creation

hey, blitz here. save me!
my old blog, www.fueledbyfunk.blogspot.com is invalid at the moment.
google (bitch) has not only taken over neopets (my old safe haven), it took over blogger.
so apparently my account doesn't exist anymore.
but my blog does.
i tried to log in on gmail, but no cigar.
-feels like a charity case-
i would ordinarily comment on my blog and tell you about this, but i can't comment w/o my permission.
. . .
damn!

hatefully--blitzoftheF.U.N.K.