yeah, i'm sick. -gagcoughhacksneezeexplode-
:| it's no fun, but imma tell you what's worse.
chorus.
so you may know, i'm jewish.
well.
jewish-agnostic.
but you get the point.
and nobody knows the real story about (c)hanuk(k)a(h).
we'll call it hanukkah for now, because writing that gets annoying.
here's the first fact; it is not a holiday.
it is merely a celebration of religious freedom.
.not. that the sacred oil lasted for eight days.
maybe it happened, maybe it didn't, but in judaism, it really isn't important.
well. sort of.
now here's the story.
the maccabees fought for their right to practice judaism in the fall/winter time period.
there is a holiday around that time, sukkot (for lack of a better english spelling, sorry).
it is a fall harvest holiday, and lasts for eight days.
they missed this holiday during their battles (which they won, by the way).
so after this, is was what we now think of as hanukkah time,
and they wanted to celebrate sukkot, the holiday that they missed.
so another celebration was created, a celebration of religious freedom and overthrowing the baddies. <3
but they had a new group of people who tolerated their religious beliefs move in.
now, they didn't want to scare these people off by having a celebration about overthrowing an army.
so whenever a jew was asked
'so, why're you spinning them dreyyy-dellllls? and lightin' cannndelllllls?!'
'oh! uhm. uhm. it was a miracle. uhm. the oil we had! it lasted for eight days! weirdright? omg! kawinkidink!'
'okeedokee.'
a little better than
'so whut up wit' dem candelllllls?'
'oh, we overthrew a huge army because they disagreed with us. -cracks knuckles- got a problem wid dat?'
'aghghhhh! wtf???!!'
exactly.
so they story was created,
and it is still told today, especially by a lot of orthodox jews.
so there you go.
you know about hanukkah.
and now that you understand the significance of it, and why it seems a little more important
(though it is only about gifts because of christmas)
you can understand this second thing.
in chorus, we finally get to sing a hanukkah song.
yays!
right?
no.
not really.
all it's about is lights!
and cold weather!
and family!
sure, family is important. i mean, there's a message there.
but what about religious freedom?
one could even say something about the damn oil!
goddammit. >:(
and then we have a compilation song, for the three major winter holidays here.
x.mas, hanukkah, and kwanzaa.
yay, riiight?
equality!
political correctness!
f.c.c. approved!
no.
here are the lines for kwanzaa
'kwanzaa is a time for familllyyyy and liiiiighhhhts'
and hanukkah
'hanukkah is a time for familyyyyy and canddddlllllesss!'
and finally, christmas
'whoop whoop! a holy king was born today!'
yeah, so wonderful for us non-christians here.
i get god, okay?
i just don't get jesus.
i don't want to sing something i don't believe!
it would make me feel a little better if the hanukkah or--god forbid-- kwanzaa bits
had a little
fucking
information on the basis of the holiday?
everyone, christian or not,
knows
what
christmas is about.
hell!
it's in the name!
but hanukkah? kwanzaa?
nobody
knows.
one should .tell. people.
one should be .edjoocated.
or maybe say that goddamn christmas is a holiday for
'familllyyyyy and liiiiggghttttssss!!!'
that'd make me feel better.
a little.
give me a little equality here!
i love christmas, really.
don't get me wrong.
(i know, i know, i'm jewish, i should like christmas, ahhhnoes!)
it's a happy time,
though usually for the wrong reasons.
i like the christmas spirit,
i like the snow
and the lights
and how happy people are.
except scrooges, who are cool in their own right.
but just please
please
please
remember.
there are other holidays that people want to celebrate.
the people who especially need to remember this are the damn songwriters.
give me my hanukkah celebration!!
and give me gifts! those i appreciate, too! <3
even if you fuck up and say merry christmas, i dun care. <33
--blitzoftheF.U.N.K.
Figures,
U'll
Never
Know
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7 comments:
happy HOLIDAYS is what we say. 'cause no one tells you they're Jewish until you says "Oh yeh I'm Jewish *koff*"
*high fives*
Yay for being Agnostic!
And yeah, I hate Palin. She's got the biggest hick accent ever and she's, like, ANITfeminist! she's almost AGAINST everything Hilary C. was FOR! omg! And out joke is, "Pakin can see Russia through her sniper-scope in the mountains standing on a moose!"
it's true. :p
as said in spamalot:
'you're jewish? why didn't you tell me?'
'well, it's not the sort of thing you say to a heavily armed christian.'
-high fives as well-
i hate her accent; it makes me want to kick an infant. horrible. ):
uh...i don't really understand your hannukah rant. hannukah is, as far as i can tell, about fighting for what you believe in. the dreidle bit (don't really know how to spell it), well, that was because the Syrrian Greeks had made Judaism illegal, so the tops were used as a pretense for young children ot gather to learn the Torah. i dunno what you're talking about with using the oil story as an excuse for celebrating Hannukah, nor do i understand how you decided the Hannuka only came about because the Jews missed Sukkot. do you have any historical bases in this at all? have you done any research on tis subject whatsoever? cuz either you didn't, or your sources are unreliable. no offense, of course.
also, i feel i should mention that the main point of Hannuka was not really about the fact that the Jews defeated the Greeks. they only had political freedom for one year following the Hanuka story. so if their independence ony lasted a year, it wouldn't have made sense for them to establish a holiday because of it, as it seems pretty insignificant- one yer of freedom in decades of tyrrinical rule from the greeks.
you are obviously missing a few crucial points here.
mmmn. my reliable sources are my rabbi, my sunday school teachers, etc. most of the jews i know and am affiliated with.
sukkot had to be made up, which explains why it was eight days.
it is a celebration of religious freedom, i agree. that is the main point. even if the religious freedom did not last very long.
pretty sure i included that. not sure if i didn't.
when typing in a flying rage, i tend not to edit.
unintelligent but true.
oil story is an excuse because, honestly, if you were ruled by a group of powerful people, would you really want them to know that you had a holiday for, and took pride in, destroying an army? that wouldn't exactly be in my best interest.
one would think that that would prompt some pretty negative things.
of course, a lot of chassidic (sp?) and orthodox jews still tell the oil story for tradition as far as i know. i do know, though, that they still retell it.
they still tell the oil story...so do reformed. AND-I AM ONE OF YOUR BRILLIANT SOURCES TOOOO!!!!!! remember me in class? i was all like-wichaa...what now futhermuckers WHAT NOW! *goes into 'gangster' crane position*
have you read the original sources in Maccabees I? those aren't 100% reliable either, but if i were you, i would start with that. or maybe Josephus, the Jewish-Roman historian. he's pretty accurate, and his work has all been translated into english. maybe check out the Talmud too, if you're interested in that sort of thing, to see what they have to say on the matter.
what i'm saying is, i can sit here arguing with you for weeks, but you won't listen. why would you dismiss a centuries-old story just because your sunday school teachers tell you it's made up. how "jewish" are they, i wonder? i mean, do they believe half the stuff in judaism? is there any particular reason why they dismiss this stuff as nothing more than a myth?
seriously, before you decide what you believe, you should do a bit more research. i doubt you're going to, but if i were you, that's what i'd do. this kind of stuff is too important to dismiss with nothing more than a shrug, and the lame excuse of, "they didn't want to make people mad, so they made it up."
'so whut up wit dem candles yo?'
wow blitz, you speak many languages don't you? lol-anyways, ms. murphy sucks eggnog, i know. what about the atheist children! do i get a say in if i want to sing about this religious crap? NOOOOOOO! but i do want you to spend christmasicle with me. that'd be to awesomely fantastic!
i only know of one religion that is totally true...santy clause!!
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