i hate people.
more than you can think, really.
here is a chain letter i received from a girl. i'll give you my F.U.N.K.-fueled feedback.
(it's not nice. i'm not nice. learn it, okay?)
(note, parenthesis are my comments.)
(&& i deleted the unneccessary (and nessecary (wtf, spelling plz?)) capitalizations.)

"think about this for a minute...
if i happened to show up on your door step crying,
would you care?
((like you'd come to me. you have such other nicer, more backstabbing, lying friends. why ever would you come to me?))

if i called you and asked you to pick me up because something happened,
would you come?
((like you would call me. i 'wouldn't understand'. (by these comments, one would probably find that true. but i care, really. but nobody else cares that i care that they don't care that i care. i care.)))

if i had one day left, to live my life; would you be part of that last day?
((like you would let me. -smirk- you'd push me into a wall, or you would slap me or call me a slut and say that i wasn't worth being a friend with. (hey. i state the truth; i'm not here to be nice.)))

if i needed a shoulder to cry on, would you give me yours?
((well, look where it got me last time. slutty reputation and little to no female company (not that i need that...)))

this is a test to see who your real friends are
or
if you are just someone to talk to you when they are bored .
((remember this. i used to be your friend and i gave you chances. obviously too many. who's fault is /that/?))

send this to everybody on your list including the person who sent it to you.
((no. contrary to what you write about in your story, i won't listen to you. i will not wear a miniskirt and pumps and i will not back down to you. most of all, /you/. -points-))

i just did.....because you are my friend.
((am i?))

do you know what the relationship is between your two eyes?
((eyes don't feel, pompous ass.))

they blink together, they move together, they cry together, they see things together and they sleep together...
((i have a hunk of bone in between them. if they were having eyesex or something, i'd know.))

but they never see each other.. that's what friendship is.
((mirrors, duh. and i see my 'friends'. too much, if you ask me.))

your aspiration is your motivation, your motivation is your belief, your belief is your peace, your peace is your target, your target is heaven, and life is like hell without it
((my aspiration is to get the hell out of here. my motivation is how you all treat me like shit and get away with it. my belief is that you treat me like shit and get away with it. that belief is not peace because if it was peace i would be far away from most of you. i don't believe in heaven; i don't believe in hell.))

it's 'world best friends week'.
((for fuck's sake, why? my birthday isn't supposed to suck this bad!! ): what a lousy . . . ironic holiday.))

who is your best friend?
((if you think you're one of them, you don't know how far off you are...))

send this to all your good friends.
((fuck why?))

even me, if i am one of them.
((you wish, petite amie!*))

See how many you get back.
((i'd rather choke to death on pastrami, sorry.))
((&& they're probably go straight to my junk.))

If you get more than 3 then you really are a lovable person...
((all i know is that i get too many, and most are insincere. bitches. (i hate that word. ): )))

save the earth... it's the only planet with
chocolate!!!! true, true indeed!
((that's not funny. trying to impersonate i-carly is not funny. it does not make you a funny person.**))

lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth ...amen
((if anyone, holy or not, puts their hand over their mouth and stops me from speaking my mind, they will be personally castrated, or if female, i shall conduct a gender switch, then castrate them. even if castration is illegal or i find it icky, i shall just force feed you live jellyfish and make sure all you can drink for the rest of your life, how short or long it may be after this, is melted plastic. (or i will hire some gross dude to castrate you.) please fuck yourself and die, thank you.))

now i am tired of writing, but one last thing. actually, two.
one! if you actually like me and respect me, treat me better.
i want all of you to hear that.

two! this is a solemn occasion, because george carlin, great comedian, died last night of a heart attack.
he was seventy-one, i believe, and he is much missed already.
and now, if you don't mind, a small explanation.
because when i was eleven, i heard carlin for the first time, in my dad's car.
i liked his humour because he not only made me laugh, but he pointed out some true as hell things that nobody else is brave enough to say.
seven words will never be the same.

thank you and good night.
(and i did not post for a week as i was grounded.)
i may not post tomorrow because it is my birthday and i'm getting my teeth worked on. ):
and i'm going video game shopping with the 'rents. well, my dad, but w/e.
frusteratedandproudofit,blitzoftheF.U.N.K.

p.s.: you all know i hate insulting you, but you also all know that this pisses me off, and you brought it on yourself.

* girlfriend. it's french, and italian also, i believe.

** haven't we gone over this before?