water parks are fun. even though i got grounded.

so i was grounded from (the newly single!) poison. again.
because we were wandering around a water park with panda-grrl and stacey.
without an ah-dult.

oh, well. here are the examples of out boy magnetism (i say boy because as many cute girls there were there (including us four!), they were straight, i assume. because none of them winked at this ine specimen of sexiness;namely, me. or the others, for that matter).

<3-boys staring at us and following us around. srsly.
<3-lifeguard splashing water at me and panda grrl--over and over.
<3-the same life guard was seen talking to another life guard pointing at us and going 'oh, yeah!'
<3-damn life-guard again. we were on a huge inner-tube ride, and there was a wall of water before the actual ride, and he held our raft under it for a while. (and guess who was under the fcking water? huh? huh? me? yeah!) (the life-guard in question was cute. <3)
<3-on the way up a line, there was a really cute guy standing in front of us, and he was pretty quiet, i assume, because he was standing there by himself, not responding to anything, except probably grinning at our antics, and panda-grrl wonders (out loud!) if he's going on the ride with us. and you know what? he offers! 'hey, you wanna come with me?' yes, i do. but, he looked older than us. like, a lot older. D:
<3-so i got dared to tell this dood that he was cute. (mind you, he was.) so i did. he grinned. and apparently he walked over to say something to me, but when us four started laughing, he turned away.
<3-so the hottest guy there (model hot. cross between skater, surfer, and scene. i see you drooling!) was obviously hot. very hot. hike up your shorts, adjust your shirt hot. he smiled at yours truly. mostly because i yelled 'you're hawt'. but. i am, too. so it would work. yeah, i'm not conceited. srsly.
<3-last one, people! hot emo guy, seen with his mother (so he was around our age. dee. (could not have been younger. trust me), winked at me. i don't know what happened to the other three, but i am obviously welcome at water parks.
<3-i lied. some guy gave etta three dollars off of a locker rental. sweet, ain't it?

ok. so obviously this was an ego boost. oh, and some dood grabbed panda-grrl's butt.
i kicked him in the crotch.
area.
...i love water parks.
and for those who say 'what if he didn't know what he was doing? he was underwater!'
he had goggles, btch.

also, i declare win on that water park.
why?
because. people were staring at our people, and so...
'in west philadelphia born and raised
in the playground is where i spent most of my days
chillin' out, maxin', relaxin', all cool
and all shootin' some bee-ball outside of the school
when a couple of guys, who were up to no good
started makin' trouble in my neighborhood
i got in one little fight and my mom got scared
and said, "you're movin' with your auntie and uncle in bel-air.'

actually, we sang the whole thing, but you get the point.
i think the guy next to us was a /b/tard, because he was the one that wanted to ride with us?
a little young to be a 4channer, in my opinion.
but then, what am i?
(a freak, no questions asked.)

but that's pretty much it, not counting how we had sno-cones,
how there were a lot of hawt people,
some overweight people,
some overweight and hawt people,
(all chicks, mind you. the overwiehgt guys wore speedos. removes all hawtness.)
a boy who one of us (no name) swears had no nipples,
6 men in speedo thongs (ewh),
how the wave pool owns,
or how that group of boys immitated me calling everyone pet names like:
'princess F.U.N.K.enstein', 'sorcress of sass', 'hawt stuff', 'love muffin', and more.
well...
they were either immitating me, or calling me hawt stuff.
both work for me! :)

see you then,
whenever then is...
blitz of the F.U.N.K.

p.s.: go hawt people! especially that dood that grinned at me. sexxxxxy.

so i heard...

...nothing, really.
but i've been thinking about doing some drama next year.
not the 'omgomgomg my purss is gawn!'
kind of drama...
the 'romeo romeo wherefor art thou romeo?'
kind of drama.
like, acting.
i decided to put my skillz to the test.
because for some strange reason i can lie really well.
and i like characters...
and scaring people...
and being dramatic...
and being obnoxious...
so i figured; acting?
who knows? for i do not.

also, i'm on the path to healthier eating.
take that, btches.
well, it's not 'healthy'.
healthy in the sense of eating more fruits and vegetables,
and eating less cookies and chocolate and sht...

and on another point, i wonder if i'll ever see some same-sex slow dancing?
hm. because boys and girls can dance as friends...
can girls and girls or boys and boys?
i, feeling gender makes no difference in this world, at least, it shouldn't on some things,
think that we should be able to dance with each other.
here are three pros and three cons. deal.

pro: no lonliness during slow songs! everyone becomes friends with someone due to some attraction, you know...
pro: no awkwardness, if it was just for friends.
pro: for the girls: admit it. girls are usually prettier and smell better.

con: people are cruel. (including: possisble parental punishments, and people throwing bits of fruit at you.)
con: for anyone that would consider slow dancing romantic no matter what, they might say no not because they're against samesex dancing, but because they don't like you. i'm included here, kk? i'm not about to be uber nice and soft. maybe.
con: most boys are very insecure about their sexuality (by which i mean are they hetero or homo or bi sexual?) (admit it! it's true!), and there would be no cute boyboy couples.

hey. you can do it with a guy friend, why not a girl friend? or you can do it with a girl friend, why not a guy friend?
i'll wear a suit to the next formal, if this ever works.
i could so pull off being a guy. especially since my hair is even shorter now. :3

blitzoftheF.U.N.K.

Figures,
U'll
Never
Know

p.s.: you all know the truth: b.b. and c.d. would make a cute couple. <3

scene for dummies.hollywood undead

so someone slipped a razor in your cupcake.
think about it, really...
you're savouring the nice cupcake that you really shouldn't be eating,
because you know that man that gave it to you looked suspicious.
but all the same, you're eating it.
licking the fluffy icing on the top, your tongue runs into a sprinkle.*
all the same, you eat it, and continue with your cupcake montage.
then, once you get to the precious white gold that is the cupcake.
and this, you can tell, is not a store-bought cupcake.
it's homemade.
from scratch, not a mix, either.
fresh-baked with love. or razors. same difference.
but, after getting a taste of that ice cream, you, my greedy friend, eat almost all of that cupcake in one bite.
but since you aren't a paranoid person spending their day in their house eating everything through a tube,
you feel something weird on your tongue.
but it's too late for that, you've got tongue blood in your tasty cupcake.
sorry.

but that's reality, a slew of ironic twists until death.
for example. a razor in a cupcake.
could kill you.
could cut your tongue off.
then you'd be 'deformed'.
but what is a human, if not deformed?
we are not all of the same mold, all with different tweaks and twitches.
so we're all deformed.
and not all of it is because of a birth defect, or a lack of paranoia and a razor-laced cupcake.
some of it is just because you are.
you are.
deformations, if the word is correct, are so many.
freckles,
astigmatisms,
tumors,
intersex genetalia at birth,**
a broken nose,
a half a tongue,
broken-looking toes,
hairy legs,
no hair at all,
eyebrows,
ingrown hairs,
pierced ears...

the list goes on.
all of us are deformed.
so when you're talking and that poor person in front of you can't speak correctly for some reason or another
one of those reasons may be someone else's fault (such as a suspicious cupcake),
and you never know.
it might happen to you.
so just think about it.
before you judge anyone...
race included. i didn't mention that.
but 'race', gender,*** they're just physical.
that and religion. religion and sexuallity****, don't judge for them.

.for.the.record.
. . .

i don't think all poseurs suck.
but, from my experience, most of them do.
kind of depends on what they pose as.
but they mostly have some confidence issues to work with.
i don't think all christians, jew, catholics, muslims, wiccans, lesbians, gays, bisexuals, boys, girls, transsexuals, drag queens, anarchists, athiests, poseurs, and people of all 'races' and other 'religions' suck.
at least, in particular.
i just don't like...people.
not much, at least.
i'm content sitting alone.
so i'm not prejudiced, btches.
just vulgar and kind of rude, and even if i have a few anxiety issues,
i love the beautiful, which can be found in everything. just saying.

.my.rant.ends.here.

so i hope i meet someone cool someday...
blitzoftheF.U.N.K.

Figures,
U'll
Never
Know

---

*:not a razor, sorry to build tension. sprinkles aren't my favourite, though...
**:look it up yourself, fcker.
***:not in the spiritual-like sense.
****:bah,humbug!! gender is not an issue. aside from the proper genetalia. i hate that word.

traffic jam.

ever watched the traffic report channel?
it's really wild.
no censors or anything...

no, really.
me and my parents, watching the traffic channel.
comments listed here:

'oooh, this is a new one!'
'ohlook! a sign!'
'ahhhhhh! loooooook!'
'one, two, three, four, o.m.g., 7 cars!'
'i think this is a rerun'
'no, they always have fresh material'
'this is a remake'
'oh, of the japanese version?'
'omg another sign!'
'-fangirl scream-'

those are just a few.
it's late, i'm sneaking on...
end post here.

<--blitzoftheF.U.N.K.-->

Figures,
U'll
Never
Know

p.s.: nosrsly. watch it.

emo is a lie.

i'm here to kind of let you all know that.
emo.
is.
not.
real.

you're not real.
you're just another cog in the trend machine.
dressing the .same. way as people in a certain group dress, and those people, even if they're damnsexy, look alike.
can you tell two emo boys apart?
aside from the streaks in their hair and the different hot topic shirts they're wearing.
really. admit it.
and whenever you say you want to look different, then pick up your hot topic wardrobe, so you can be different, just like all of your friends.
you're just as bad as the brand-stalkers... the girls who wear the same gucci purses and practically coordinate their days so they all wear the same prada-pants and coach undies.
you exclude the girls who don't wear hot topic because they're automatically bitchy preppies who suck and should die.
and don't get me started with the stereotypes of cheerleaders being bitches. because not all of them are. c.g. is a cheerleader! (her last name is a colour. think...)

and no, i'm not talking about all 'emo' people.
just the ones that label themselves 'emo' so they fit in with all of their 'different' friends.
and then you people that think putting in a fake lip ring and enough hair streaks to be a work of modern art makes you punk, or goth, or . . . well, maybe it'll make you emo . . .
but it won't work.
please shove something hard and sandpapery down your throat.
and die.
please. we don't need people like this. people that think dressing like all of the other 'dark' people make you different and unique, and people that thinks being snobby and 'preppy' makes you superior to everyone else, and . . . well people who act like that.

oh well. i have to go.
the daily show is on. off to spend quality time with the 'rents.
happy birthday, ty-ty. happy birthday, manwhore.
to a successful year of. . . well, whatever you two do.

--&&blitzoftheF.U.N.K.

Figures,
U'll
Never
Know

ohmygod(dess)!! the radical christians! they're coming to kill me!

ohfckno. i'm gonna get mer-derrrred! noes!
actually, i'm probably just going to be trash talked for hours until this website finds a new person to hate.
in case you'd like to know what i'm talking about, here is some person's view on homosexuality and tansgender...ism.
sorry. i don't really know the word. ): i'm so inept with the words and the wordiness. (read it. i'll throw in some humour, 'kay? or at least btching. you all love my btching.)

"well, even though this is much more watered down than i wanted it to be, you must remember that i go to a public school…if i really expressed my beliefs then i would get kicked out! so we needed to write a one page “reflection” in my psychology class on this movie we watched on transgender children and then on a presentation made by mr. *name removed*-the head of the “gay straight alliance” ((yes. g.s.a. why the quotes?)) at my school…
after watching the tragic movie on the stories of transgender children and listening to mr. *name removed*'s presentation on gender issues one would think that an opinion could be swayed. but not mine; in fact my beliefs are even stronger than before. i am a member of a devout catholic family ((does)) whose morals are based on the teachings of *i'm taking this out to avoid controversy...* and i am proud to be part of it. . . being catholic and going to a public school where hardly anyone shares my beliefs can be difficult when it comes to discussing issues such as these; i have been accused of being “hateful, sententious and bigoted” ((i'm not surprised. i just hope you aren't.)) when it comes to my beliefs on homosexuality and transgender issues. contrary to popular belief, a true ((devout i am assuming)) christian, like myself, is not a hateful, sententious and bigoted person and I do not hate anyone. . ."((i haven't seen too many .devout. real christians/catholics/whatever you call yourselves...))

yeah. lots of comments. that's barely the first part. so now i'll just give you the juicy little nibblets of it.

(including comments)
but first, i'll cover the rest of the article; this person simply states that she or he thinks that if parents were nicer, there would be no gay or bisexual or transgender kids. they blame gender issues on parents.

ok. onto the comments.

"a situation like this calls for treating the person like they have a mental disorder, because they do!"
that's like calling a belief or religion a mental disorder. belief that you like one gender, belief that you like both, belief that you like niether, belief that you are of the other sex, belief that there is an invisible man in the sky that will punish you if you don't act nice. only one of these is really condoned, you know. sad? maybe. to me, it is...

"i highly doubt that any of these people with gender ‘problems’ were brought up in a proper, loving, and caring family."
there's no problem... people being people is part of being a person, you . . . person. we don't need to fit into the same gender role as everyone else. we all know that i barely fit into a gender role at all. and then panda-grrl, zo-zo, penguu, poison, they aren't all 'omg let's go shopping' or the even more cliché 'i must be a stay at home mommy when i grow up and i have to cook for my lovely hubby omg'. (but they aren't binding their chests and cutting their hair short, either. but it's an example!)

(continuation of the previous...)
"where the mother would rear the children in femininity, and the father teach his son the responsibilities of being a man, and the importance of strong fatherhood."
(this person capitalized mother and not father. why? just wondering). uhm, well. my dad taught me what i know, my mom taught me what i know, and my sister did, too. the females of the family agree with me when i say that people are very annoying, and girls can be total btches. and my dad taught me everything else. but i wasn't really brought up with any gender role. goooo parents!

"you say there is a physical disorder when a child would be born ‘intersex.’ but I strongly disagree with you."
fck!!!!!! -endless exclamation points- ok. do we need to take a picture? i will! once i see an intersex baby... i fear babies. ): they're all loud and... bawwww. but how do you disagree with that? there is concrete proof! if you looked hard enough, instead of looking for your paris hilton sex tapes, you could find a diagram or a picture or something. you poor misunderstood basement-dweller. ):

"but on the point of men and women who think themselves the opposite sex, and dress like so, there is a grave perversity present. why perversity? because men are supposed to be men, and women are supposed to be women."
uhm, says you! i personally find feminine boys to be attractive. then women with shaved heads who aren't feminine at all; they can be attractive, too! it's not perverse. to a certain extent, and in a certain time in a certain place, you could call it 'kinky'. maybe. but d00d. it isn't that bad. people are people are people are people are people. duuuhhhhh.

"we live in a society of drugs. women taking birth control. . ."
this proceeds into a rant on kiddies taking more drugs than ozzy. but birth control? uhm, not every woman wants to get knocked up, and it's precautionary. what if the woman doesn't want to pass something onto the kid, or what if he's... iunno, a prostitute/tot? i don't approve of that, but the last thing we need in this world is more fcking people. at least they know they don't need to pop a baby out every 9 months...

"god is the only truth!"
god(dess) is perspective! to the fishies in the pond, my father is their god. to poor shin in 'godless', the water tower is his god. to the kitties, my mom may be their god. goddess. or food bringer. whatever. and to you, maybe, some invisible d00d(ette) in the sky is god. i'm fine with that, sure, cool, invisible person in the sky, rad! i don't have a problem with that. no sarcasm there. but . . . oh, whatever. i give up. for now. on you.

"when you marry for your want instead of god’s will, you allow satan to dictate whatever he see’s fit!"
no. marraige is pretty much for your want, because you're in luvv or whatever with this person. that doesn't mean satan or whatever is dictating my soul. but love is pretty fcked up. maybe you're right.

"transgenderism is not the defect at birth, but with the perverts who believe themselves to be other than what they truly are."
if you don't want people to call you names, why call others names? isn't that the golden rule or something...?

"i understand and accept your judgemental attitudes, recognizing that you’re following your heart and your god, as you’ve been taught, in a loving and faithful way to the best of your abilities. how could .anyone. fault you for that?"
i wish i was this nice.... ):

"again here, this is an honest assumption, but one based on an almost complete lack of knowledge. how many of “these people” does master x know, or has even ever personally met to draw such a conclusion? my guess would be less than three and most likely zero. he only knows that .he. is not one of ‘those people’, nor is anyone that he knows (of), so he’s able to, and somewhat logically and quite understandably conclude that the cause is somehow rooted in the upbringing."
i love you! -hugs person- please save the world because you're nicer than me and actually intelligent!!
:0

"had mr. x actually been blessed, or i’m sure to his current state of mind, cursed with some degree of trans (or homosexuality for that matter) he’d be enlightened and aware that it is, for at the very least the vast majority, .not. a matter of failed upbringing or personal choice, but rather an inborn trait, no different that say, red hair or blue eyes."
i really adore you.

"i was brought up in a very “proper, loving, and caring family”. a mother, father, 3 brothers, 1 sister, a dog, a cat, church every sunday, the whole bit. no one did anything ‘wrong’. i am who i am, and who i’ve always been, a child of our wonderful and ever loving creator, with the body of a male and the mind, soul, and spirit of a female."
seriously. you're awesome. -cheers-

"as to the cause - who knows? i’ve struggled personally seeking the answer to that very question and have witnessed my brother and sister trans and gays desperately try to determine it as well. i’m finished trying. it doesn’t matter. god has assured me, as he .always. has tried to (incl. all that time i tried to figure out “why?”) that he loves .me.- just the way i am!"
i'm still cheering. not trying to be funny here. just supportive. maybe i'd be nicer if i believed in some god. but i don't. and i'm a frigid btch, who knows why? but i am. go me!

"but, I shall firmly oppose those who were born a boy, without any birth problems, and willingly believe themselves a girl, and live as such. there are fine lines between the defect and someone who tries to be something they are not."
i seriously wish this person knew what exactly it feels like to have any issues regarding gender or race, but of course not. white, male, straight, christian. you lucky btch. you don't know how lucky you are! born into this world as you are.

"wow……..wow. *name removed*, it is obvious that your response is the result of a tough life of doubt and opression. "
she said it was not a result of that! you spiritually deaf/blind sadsack. ): sadsack = necessary(sp?). sorry. person.

"be careful who you call out as “judges” though. to feel disreguarded is one thing, but to directly attack one for their views on society is another."
i found that her letter was nice and nonprovoking of anything. it should have ended there. (but i'm complaining about it, so it obviously hasn't and probably won't.)

"do not fear on bringing your beliefs to the public young man, god is not calling you to deny your gender."
didn't *name removed* clearly state that they identify as female...? maybe you made a typo. hire an editor, maybe?

"“impure evil”? by two people who love each other? while that is a entirely different discussion i have no desire to have with you, i will state that i remain baffled by the tremendous fear that people of the same gender in love bring to so many of this world."
i really wish i knew this person. she's cool. or he. but i believe they identified as female...? i'm such an idiot.

"your final sentence brings it all home. calling me a “young man” and chastising me like a parent scolding a child, joseph? the tone is both unbecoming and unnecessary. and this, almost in the same breath you were patting yourself on the back for being so open-minded! wow indeed."
seriously. i usually say people suck. but iunno. some people are cool. i just haven't met them. in person.

"i want to thank you for being at least civil in your comments."
i guess my comment wasn't very civil. i'm gonna get yelled at. oh, well. what'll they do, sue me?

"no, transsexualality is a .sin.!"
...no u!

"oi. some of the thangs you people say really make my upper lip twitch."
oh. i wonder who this is?

"i really do pity you, though. having to hate something in order to live.
didn’t god(dess) say anything about hating people, and if i am correct, isn’t hate a sin? look! your favourite word! sinsinsinsinsinsinsin. hate is a sin. if i am correct. even if i am not, it should be a sin. :/"
oh, yeah! it's me! now i remember...

so you know what? i declare myself superperson. i'm not exactly the nicest soul, but i am superperson, dammit! and you'll know when i'm there. probably because i will call myself superperson, but i shall leave my mark! :| i shall!


and to finish things of, a quote:
'if gays and lesbians get civil rights, then everyone will want them.'
--&&blitzoftheF.U.N.K., a.k.a.:superperson

p.s.:duhplz.
p.p.s.: please don't comment saying i'm prejudiced against christians. because i'm not. if you say something to make me dislike you, it's what you say and why you say it, not in the name of what god. plz.

what's on the news right naow and what the fck is wrong with it.

ok. well, maybe it is not the news, but lord is america fcked. (especially if there indeed was a heaven or a hell.)
i'm watching the news, staring at a chick trapped between chairs,
watching how nobody will help this poor chick,
and there is even another person in the room.

i mean, don't get me wrong.
america is a good place. there aren't many places to live better than here.
i mean, i have free-er speech than most people in other countries.
(just not in school, hehm-hehm, guidance counselor who curses when she isn't supposed to...!)

((issue numero uno.))
back to the sucky world.
so we're -drumroll-
finally working on a new energy source! solarrrrr energy!!!!
oh, no no no.
never mind.
we have to take .twenty-fcking-more-fcking-years!!. until we can fucking work on it!
you all keep complaining about the energy crisis.
well! here's a solution right in front of you, and you don't take the chance!

duhduhduh we need the proper energy source because gas prices are so high duhduhduh...

well fcking work on solar energy!
hellz, you could use corpses for energy!
yeah, corpses.
use that trunk for something good.
grind up bodies, and .zoom!. off you go.
i'm sure that wouldn't take some environmental excavation or some sht, would it?
i mean, they're already dead!

but no. none of that's going to happen, even if it could work!
(omg look out. something's going on with . . . starfcks!)
you know why it's not going to work?
because.
aside from war, the one other thing the people of america are brilliant with is
.complaining.!
including me.
i complain.
i btch.
i whine.
i nag.
but never mind that.

that's why we don't solve our problems.
because without problems, we would be out of sht to complain about.
wouldn't that be horrible?
to live in peace, with no need for welfare, no dictators, no gas crisis?
nothing to fcking complain about?
we'd all fcking kill ourselves!
i mean, please.
a world without anorexia, a world without bulimia, a world where people actually .help. chicks stuck under chairs?
(before they die, that is. damn you. >:( )
and, if i was up to it, a world where starbucks was not a chain thing and 'vente' or whatevevr the fck it's called nowadays, was replaced by the word
.large.!
it's simple english, folks.
.large.!

((two; but barely))
this is only on here because it is a good thing!
starfcks = negative 600.
haha. fckers are closing! -dances-
sorry. i just don't like starfcks.
'would you like a vent-ay latt-ay?'
'i'm not fcking in your store!'
'oh, so would you like a tall java-coozeeee?'
i mean, double-yoo tee eff.
really. this fake friendliness just makes me wanna...
i don't know . . . choke something. :/

((numbah three. srsly.))
this isn't even an issue.
this is fcking celebrities.
they don't care.
they 'float on a cloud above mainstream america...'
they are fcking mainstream america!
i mean, oprah?
psh.
oprah is fantasy!
she is not real! ):

okay. i'm done btching.
here's hoping the news finds this, makes a controversy over it, and pities themselves.
because that's what we're all best at! :)
--&&((blitzoftheF.U.N.K.))

p.s.: look at this woman. her dialogue contains licking her lips, flipping her hair, 'and liek, news and stuff! oh em gee! :) there is a new lip glawss contro... contro... oh, johnny-boo, how do you pronounce this?'
'that would be 'controversy', my precious little tulip.'
bleh. i don't like people.

p.p.s.: might i just add that the whole stocks and bonds thing reminds me a lot of teenage peer pressure?
'come on, billy. buy this stock. all the cool people are doing it... ;) come onnnnn. it won't hurrrrt yoooouuuu.'

to ... you ?

girl: i wish i could tell you. but i can't. ): so it seems to be with everyone lately. (sorry, i'm not madly in love with you. my appologies.)
boy: your cell phone message machine sucks. and girlfriends aren't for show. love her or drop her. :/
girl: stop flirting. he likes you more than you know.
boy: you're an idiot because you couldn't hear me when i told you what i told you when i told you what i told you. (i told you!)
girl: why do you hate me 3/4s of the time? it is not good for this girl's self esteem.
boy: you dropped me on my azz for another girl. 'nuff said. (but you're overall cool, anyway. i didn't care, but that's always fun to drop into a conversation. instantanious awkwardness.)
girl: stop doing that!!!!!
boy: why do you hate me? (i'm irre-fcking-sistable! :* nah, just kidding.)
girl: hard to hang with you now.
boy: i haven't talked to you in a while. what's up?
girl: pay attention. we have feelings.
girl: you're just as bad as .her.! -points- except less annoying because ... well, duh!

and there you are.
figure out where you stand.
or else i kill you whilst you sleep.
or something.
--&&blitzoftheF.U.N.K.

p.s.: as much as i hate young female actresses, some of the other ones are quite attractive. (hey. i just noticed this. it's my blog. my words, btch.)