what's on the news right naow and what the fck is wrong with it.

ok. well, maybe it is not the news, but lord is america fcked. (especially if there indeed was a heaven or a hell.)
i'm watching the news, staring at a chick trapped between chairs,
watching how nobody will help this poor chick,
and there is even another person in the room.

i mean, don't get me wrong.
america is a good place. there aren't many places to live better than here.
i mean, i have free-er speech than most people in other countries.
(just not in school, hehm-hehm, guidance counselor who curses when she isn't supposed to...!)

((issue numero uno.))
back to the sucky world.
so we're -drumroll-
finally working on a new energy source! solarrrrr energy!!!!
oh, no no no.
never mind.
we have to take .twenty-fcking-more-fcking-years!!. until we can fucking work on it!
you all keep complaining about the energy crisis.
well! here's a solution right in front of you, and you don't take the chance!

duhduhduh we need the proper energy source because gas prices are so high duhduhduh...

well fcking work on solar energy!
hellz, you could use corpses for energy!
yeah, corpses.
use that trunk for something good.
grind up bodies, and .zoom!. off you go.
i'm sure that wouldn't take some environmental excavation or some sht, would it?
i mean, they're already dead!

but no. none of that's going to happen, even if it could work!
(omg look out. something's going on with . . . starfcks!)
you know why it's not going to work?
because.
aside from war, the one other thing the people of america are brilliant with is
.complaining.!
including me.
i complain.
i btch.
i whine.
i nag.
but never mind that.

that's why we don't solve our problems.
because without problems, we would be out of sht to complain about.
wouldn't that be horrible?
to live in peace, with no need for welfare, no dictators, no gas crisis?
nothing to fcking complain about?
we'd all fcking kill ourselves!
i mean, please.
a world without anorexia, a world without bulimia, a world where people actually .help. chicks stuck under chairs?
(before they die, that is. damn you. >:( )
and, if i was up to it, a world where starbucks was not a chain thing and 'vente' or whatevevr the fck it's called nowadays, was replaced by the word
.large.!
it's simple english, folks.
.large.!

((two; but barely))
this is only on here because it is a good thing!
starfcks = negative 600.
haha. fckers are closing! -dances-
sorry. i just don't like starfcks.
'would you like a vent-ay latt-ay?'
'i'm not fcking in your store!'
'oh, so would you like a tall java-coozeeee?'
i mean, double-yoo tee eff.
really. this fake friendliness just makes me wanna...
i don't know . . . choke something. :/

((numbah three. srsly.))
this isn't even an issue.
this is fcking celebrities.
they don't care.
they 'float on a cloud above mainstream america...'
they are fcking mainstream america!
i mean, oprah?
psh.
oprah is fantasy!
she is not real! ):

okay. i'm done btching.
here's hoping the news finds this, makes a controversy over it, and pities themselves.
because that's what we're all best at! :)
--&&((blitzoftheF.U.N.K.))

p.s.: look at this woman. her dialogue contains licking her lips, flipping her hair, 'and liek, news and stuff! oh em gee! :) there is a new lip glawss contro... contro... oh, johnny-boo, how do you pronounce this?'
'that would be 'controversy', my precious little tulip.'
bleh. i don't like people.

p.p.s.: might i just add that the whole stocks and bonds thing reminds me a lot of teenage peer pressure?
'come on, billy. buy this stock. all the cool people are doing it... ;) come onnnnn. it won't hurrrrt yoooouuuu.'