if it smells like F.U.N.K....

ok. i know. you're probably all like 'omgomgomgomgomg lyk y did u put teh F.U.N.K. in teh title btch!!??!E312'
blasphemy! well, no.
i just wanted all of you to know to nevar evar evar get addicted to anything.
it's so classic, but it's true.
for example: i want you all to buy some sculpy (modeling clay), make something, bake it for wwwwwaaaaaayyyyyyy too long, pour some melting rubber on it, and then maybe vomit on it.
then smell it.
that's what beer tastes like. no lies here, folks.

and my second little thing to ignore = pills.
especially for you girls, because i know i know, motrin is needed once per month,
buuuut
if you get carried away, this may happen:
you're miserable for four hours,
end up taking mooooore pills,
sit on the crapper all day,
still have cramps,
then you'll try to eat something, and you'll puke up the alchohol that your sister's boyfriend dared you to try.
(that's how i know what that damn beer tastes like. -vacuums tongue-)
then after eating some cold ramen noodles and lying on the couch watching children's shows,
you'll be fine, because apparently barfing up that disgusting alchohol and the small amount of food you're actually eating makes cramps go away.

who knew?
beer sucks. pills suck.
don't do drugs, kids! :0
seriously. you do drugs and fck up your life, i'm gonna force some pills down your throat and show you that retching = no fun.
maybe some alchohol-sht tastes good, but bleeeh.
maybe it's 'cos i'm small, or 'cos i'm smart, or 'cos i have weird taste buds.

i was originally going to request sympathetic phone calls from fellow members of the F.U.N.K., but i'm going out for ice cream. or italian ice.
just remind me not to stay up with my sister and her boyfriend any more.
who, by the way, acts kind of like manwhore and j.c. at the same time.

and one cute little anectdote before i leave for frozen treats...

'i can has sunglasses?'
adsf. so we were at the beach, feeding the seagulls some cheap bread, when my sister's boyfriend puts bread on the bill of his hat. the bird grabs it and nearly craps on my sister. :p he keeps doing this, but after a while one of the seagulls pulls off his damn sunglasses, and starts flying away. it left the bread. so i'm chasing after the frikkin' sea gull, trying to get the sunglasses, and it just drops them. oh, lord, that was funny. :3 made my evening, it did.

so all in all, have a nice day. ;)
see you laters, cheese graters.
here's hoping i don't see any of you retching in a toilet anytime soon. :/
blitzoftheF.U.N.K.

Figures,
U'll
Never
Know

(but neither will we. ;) )